tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70238734651273952982024-02-20T18:48:18.501-08:00OH, I DON'T KNOWGender; Female
Occupation; Homemaker
Likes; My husband,family & music
especially the bluesKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-88517779320895662792010-07-15T16:04:00.000-07:002010-07-15T16:20:11.207-07:00When I am weak, this is when I become SrongImagine the "impossible" would I walk on water too? Would I fall at your feet? Would you make me greater than my weakness? Oh, to feel whole, enveloped in your love. Would I kiss your face, bathe you in my tears? Oh, Holy One, please forgive all the pain I caused you. Weakness, you give me for my safe return. When? Until then, I must trust in your plan. I will not forget where I came from ,, I will remember where I am going. Faith arms my Spirit, Holy Ones guide my steps, aw what sweet elation. In the quiet I hear Your voice speak. Be still, and I will guide your steps. Chase away calamities of life. With all my weakness's I will become strengthened. My PrayerKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-75718478245461028822010-07-04T00:54:00.000-07:002010-07-08T14:07:32.492-07:00I'm pretty tired now, think I'll go to sleep nowSleep? Endless torment or welcome old friend? Glad I haven't seen you for a while. I played the piano, too lazy to write down the notes. This time the music was for me. Just playing for the beauty of it. Pianos can be so comforting to my soul. Music delights my spirit as well as the beauty of sound. I have no idea how a piano works. I have no idea how my fingers know how to find the next chord, note, etc. Music has been my "Balm of Gideon". It soothes my soul and sends vibration, anticipation, liberation freedom from this body of clay. One of the only things I get to take with me. JOY! Ok, I feel pretty tired now, think I'll go to bed.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-26910424941147398712010-06-23T15:02:00.000-07:002010-06-23T15:14:08.644-07:00I like BlogsIt's really nice to be able to go back and read what you have blogged. Sometimes the tears flow and it's a little difficult to go back to the place you were at the time of the post. Although there is a small part of me that wants to rewrite history I know that I have no power to change the past. Moving forward, loving the time and place in my life. Friends remain, some change & move away not forgotten, unseen for a time. Reunion of life loved and lost. Mothers arms that will hold me once again. She tells me everything is going to be just fine. Fathers strong and tall no longer frail and unused. I long for the past but can not go there. I must wait for Him that decides what is best. If I really want to take a look back I should get my photo's organized. They are packed away like so many things in my past. Look to the future. Unable to organize what is coming. Preparation for the days unseen. Good idea, better get on that.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-60162429053118094292010-06-22T17:47:00.000-07:002010-06-22T18:19:23.963-07:00I hope !I hope I see more holidays like the one we had last Sunday. Hope there is so much love in our lives that we feel compelled to hug one another spontaneously. Hope that everyone will be well. Hope that we still like each other. Hope we are still active members of our church. Hope that the grand-daughters will remember to be young. Hope that Grandpa & I don't grow old too soon. Hope that music is still playing in my head. Hope that we go the beach often. Hope that we are better financially prepared. Hope that we don't have to use any of our insurances. Hope that today is better than all my yesterdays. Hope that we love one another in this world. Hope that the world is a better place because I was here. Hope that Mitch, Willy & Doug enjoy the love that their parents have shared. Hope there will always be Temples. Hope that my Heavenly Father is pleased with my actions & words. Hope that I always have hope. Hope that my Faith is strong enough for this mortal existence. Hope that I still smile when I see newly married couples. Hope that my love for mankind grows with every passing day. Hope that my friends & family will have all that they need in this life. Hope that we can forgive and be forgiven. Hope that when I die there will be tons of music and funny stories. Hope that the flowers keep blooming for all those who see. Hope that my mom & dad are accepting the gospel. Hope that my brothers will learn from our families example. Hope that I live up to my potential so that the Angels can be my associates. Hope that I never speak unkindly of my brothers and sisters. Hope that I always care more about people than things. Hope I don't get suffocated in my sleep. (not kidding) Hope that when I meet my maker I don't say something stupid. Hope that all the world knows that Heavenly Father loves, thinks and reveres us. Hope that I'm never a hypocrite. Hope that I don't fall down. Hope that if I fall I will get back up. Hope that my family knows how much I love them. Hope that Heavenly Father knows how much I need him in my life. Hope that I cry, laugh & have fun along the way. Hope that my days are spent wisely. Hope that Merl passes before me, because I don't want to be the cause of his pain. Hope that the next generation of McKnights are in tune with the Holy Ghost. Hope that they are tough, humble, funny & forgiving. Hope that I stay in tune with the Spirit so that I don't make poor choices. Hope that I can drag my sorry butt to the gym all the days of my life. I hope!Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-27742219262478392872010-04-25T14:40:00.000-07:002010-04-25T14:49:29.943-07:00DichotomyNow or never, do or die. Extreme polars, clutter my mind. Seeing the future, turning my back. Embrace the future, deny the past. Save nothing for the future. Hold everything tight. Deny the future, explore the past. Contradictions in my mind. Embrace truth, allow love. Experience pleasure, cast off dark shadows. Take off the natural man, love the moment. Music, love, life, where does the time go. Swallowed up in pain, relieve to my soul. Delight in my minds eye. See the future, in a blink it will be the past. <br /><br />Love, MomKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-49593863976919767162010-03-30T17:17:00.000-07:002010-03-30T17:33:15.097-07:00WomenBe it young, old, or somewhere in-between women get things done. Wether, it's calling a friend or remembering to pick up the kids after piano lessons, women get it done. There is no monetary reward, only the satisfaction of knowing that you are of worth. There is a sure knowledge that there is no other person that can fit into your shoes. We hope that in our efforts we have contributed in making the world a better place because we were here. The perks are fantastic. Heavenly Father really knew what he was doing when he said, "is it good for man to be alone?" We know the rest of the story. Eve was created to be a help mate to Adam. We women are great helpers. In old age we look for opportunities to help. As little girls we mimic our mothers and try to do what they do. It is second nature to see someones need. We cry for those that mourn and we carry those who can not stand. Women reach others through their warmth and compassion. Laughter is their delight, sorrow their despair. Truly, women are insightful, sensitive beings. I thank Heavenly Father for Womanhood.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-57804348834474217662010-02-17T19:56:00.000-08:002010-07-08T14:09:48.621-07:00FamilyI love my family! With all our imperfections and individual ideas we make a wonderful family. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father has made a plan so that we can be together for eternities. I can't think of any other people that I'd like to be with. My family is far reaching. My family affects the people around them. My family is strong. Our blessings are great, even not seen at times. Perhaps it is because we clutter our minds with the things that must be done. The day in and day out routines consume our time and our talents. It's all right there's time. If not here where? Love really is the answer.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-92095038687255603092010-02-17T19:55:00.001-08:002010-02-17T19:55:58.091-08:00Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-6224449712266948472010-01-21T15:07:00.000-08:002010-01-21T15:21:54.113-08:00RainI wish I was clever and could write wonderful stories to entertain. Alas, my lack was discovered long ago by my 5th grade teacher. Although Miss Shields encouraged me to use my imagination, I still struggle. I did manage to write (I thought at the time) a brilliant story. "Attack of the killer frogs". Maybe, I'm just greedy and want it all. Or maybe I read what my wonderful sons have written and wish I could express myself as eloquently as they. My gifts must lie somewhere else. Having qualified my expressions I'd like to say, I love the rain. The greens seem brighter and refreshed. The streets shine with moisture & I feel the hope of spring. Renewed, enlivened, a fresh new start. I'm reminded that everything will be restored to it's original vitality. Just as in life & in death we will be restored. I'm grateful.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-30834487551824791842010-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:002010-01-21T14:56:06.327-08:00Take it or leave it"Whether you think you can, or that you can't you are usually right." Henry Ford The power of positive thinking is amazing. Plus, it really works.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-8431334140318546802009-12-21T18:40:00.000-08:002009-12-21T18:42:54.031-08:00Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-61859943948816609792009-11-28T12:26:00.002-08:002009-11-28T12:27:19.549-08:00Then the dog ate the turkey!I'm really trying to be positive but really. The dog ATE MY TURKEY! Come on give me a break!Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-40275618977069615112009-11-28T12:26:00.001-08:002009-11-28T12:26:52.791-08:00Thoughts of homicide part IIOk, so do you ever feel like killing your son? The same son that helped you in the kitchen. But, has been playing on the computer and doesn't log himself out. Now, he sounds like a gay guy! Dude, this is truly messed up. Now, his friends know more about his mother than they ever thought they wanted to know. Thoughts of homicide run wild through my mind. Yes, it's one of those moments when you think that world conspires against the powers of positive momentum. Well, shit! I guess that's called gravity. Any way you look at it. Shit happens. Sorry Willy<br />Posted by ... at 3:01 PM 0 commentsKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-40062256045696865362009-11-28T12:25:00.000-08:002009-11-28T12:26:01.902-08:00Thoughts of homicideYes, boys and girls the husband man must die or at least he must be wounded. Oh yeah, I did that 30 years ago. I married him! Ok, so I just want some sort of sick revenge. I know that men are supposed to be the strong tough guys who take a hit and keep going. Sometimes that same man has to take time for a small melt down. Ok, so who is there to clean up the goo after he's shot his mouth off? Mmmm? He's my friend, lover & my arch nemesis. Do you ever just feel like meeting your spouse at the door with boxing gloves on. I'm ready for that! I don't really want to hurt him but I'd sure like to make him suffer just a teeny tiny bit. Aw, what the hell? What other monster would I choose? Too late to quit on him and too soon for single life. I guess I'll just keep my mouth shut like he does for me when I'm having a tough time. I think I'll go read my scriptures. Reading them always makes me feel better.. Then I'll go and find those gloves..Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-83074386286690720012009-10-08T15:16:00.000-07:002009-10-08T15:58:20.629-07:00Why do we try?For those that live a life of Reilly this may not apply to you. Those that have had to fight dust understand the constant and futile battle. During the course of the week we fight against dirt. We are armed with clean cloth and Liquid Gold. (You'd think that Liquid Gold would really be worth a lot of money with that name.) However,I have found no Gold in Liquid Gold. I've tried to find it every time I use the product. Alas, my fight against dust is an ongoing battle. Every man and women fights the same battle. Maybe if we just got rid of the stuff, we'd find that we have more than we need. This is true statement in my case. When I become old, my children will wonder why I've kept so many things. Stuff piles up in unusual shapes and sizes. These shapes of stuff keep me up at night. Mostly, I'm concerned what others will think of my piles of stuff. Will they think I'm just a messy collector of stuff? Do I need more stuff to make me happy? I think not. However, bright shiny things tempt my eyes and sometimes calls to me even after I've determined that I don't need any more stuff. Recently, I've thought a great deal about stuff. Why do you try to obtain as much stuff as possible? Are we trying to please our selves? Or, are we trying to prove to the world that we have the greatest stuff. Does our stuff show the world that we are successful hard working people who deserve to have really good stuff? How do they know if it's good stuff or a cheap knock off? And, who the they, the ones that determine excellence in stuff? Who are they that determine what color is in or out? Why do we follow blindly like lemmings? I'd really like to know who "they" are so that I can write a letter on (none cool paper,) stating that I'd rather not be in the list. To that I say, "what list"? I've never signed up to be a buyer of stuff. And, why do I give a rats ass? The truth is that we all have a bit of lemming in us. For once I'd like to wear something extremely not cool and not worry about it. Then I would call myself a reformed collector of stuff. Yes, this is what should be done. Alas, my ego is too big and I can not be seen in non cool stuff. However, to those that think that I dress uncool then I'd be fulfilling my dream of an departure from cool stuff. How is it that even as a little child we know what we want. I tortured my mother because of stuff. The differences in stuff became clear when I was in 2nd grade. This is when my mother and I first found out that we disagreed about stuff. Another mans trash is another mans treasure. When I leave this mortal existence, I will buried in stuff & covered with dirt. How about that? Even, death is not an escape from stuff. So, why do we try? Mmmm, something to think about.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-68719205147568332382009-07-11T18:39:00.000-07:002009-07-11T18:45:27.736-07:00WowHow time flies, so much has filled my time since my last post. Well that's life isn't it? I still love my life. I wouldn't trade with anyone right now. It feels good to know that, I know! I have a strong testimony of the love Heavenly Father has for us. For that I am profoundly grateful. I am loved, that is good enough for me.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-1555004863309244592009-04-23T19:14:00.000-07:002009-04-23T19:28:50.318-07:00LifeDoors closing, windows open....Continuance of life. Moments unspoken, feelings unsorted. What is to be learned? Hope I get it soon. Spiritual uplifts, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">life's</span> little blows. Know that it's for the good. But, to what end? We will not be divided, nor <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">one sided</span>. Love of life, baby smiles. Good times. Hold the ones you love, never crush. Love to live. Live to love. Doors open, windows close. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Continuum</span> of mind and soul. WHAT!Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-92145813762004231722009-01-20T14:42:00.000-08:002009-01-20T14:48:02.787-08:00What the hell!A hook from one of my songs; What the hell, what the hell, what the hell went wrong? I just came here to sing my song, and everything turned out wrong.<br />Do you ever feel like that? I don't really think that everything has turned out wrong. But, I surely say to myself. "What the hell?"Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-79132791617728586352009-01-18T14:16:00.000-08:002009-09-17T16:25:28.492-07:00Today I was told that my present state of life is preparing a way for something in the future. I would be ready because of my trials. Well what if I'm not willing to pay the price? Ya know? I'm not all that sure about anything any more. I do know that I want to cry most of the time. I live in fear most every day. I know that I will be made stronger. I know that I will be a better person for the struggles. I'm just not sure that I want to try any longer. Ya know! I'm tired.<br />Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-84442645302381157342008-12-09T18:29:00.000-08:002008-12-09T19:04:34.529-08:00Mostly funny.My M.S., ever present. All though I deny it's presence, it comes to me like a fog, still, pressing. Gone for a day or months. Returning like an old unwelcome friend. M.S. hides and waits until I can not resist anymore. It breaks my body down but, not my spirit. Today I must rest. Tomorrow is another day to fight. My body rests while the pain awakens. No distractions today. I have a greater understanding for those that are immobile. My mind is always there ready to be tortured by my own hidden demons. There's some mention about "idle hands being the devils play ground." Who ever said that must have had some personal experience. I've been reading a book that reminds me to look at life with the eyes of a child. I've been trying this notion for a couple of days. Life is easier when you try to look at life with the eyes of a child. I guess I just need to find the fun in everything. It sounds pretty easy when you read it back to yourself. It's harder typed than done. M.S. has been a part of my life for 20 years yet, after all my efforts it surprises me when it sneaks in under the walls. That sucks doesn't it? We all get something. Something positive to say about M.S. M.S. is truly a motivational disease. There, that's mostly funny.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-28005526580280679352008-11-13T03:50:00.004-08:002008-11-13T05:36:42.060-08:00Hallelujah<div>Joy, oh rapture I've completed a very difficult course. When I wanted to hide my head and not show up for class I continued. Similar to life, constantly striving to improve who I am. For me this has been an amazing experience. I've found that I don't really know that much. There is so much more to be learned. Life is a journey not a contest. A persons life is not measured by the things in life. Rather it is measured by which you act and react to situations that you can not control. All though there is always the ever present "Fear Monster" a persons desire to be compels him or her to hang on a little longer. Perseverance personified. Miheala "The Teacher," implores me to be better. Guides me in directions yet unexplored. Where it leads, "I do not know!" What I do know is that I'm enjoying the ride. Isn't that the goal? Just enjoy and appreciate the ride. My life is always full. May it remain the same?No I choose "not the same." Our lives connected for four weeks. All coming to INTESOL for various reasons. Adventure, divorce, uncertainty. As for me it was my escape. My life not my own Constant giving perhaps giving away too much. The results thoughts, of being completely overwhelmed. In these four weeks I have been the receiver. Pleasant and comforting. May I nourish myself frequently!</div>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-63020579282312153592008-10-08T10:53:00.000-07:002008-10-08T11:12:30.057-07:00I dreamt of youI had a dream, it was very real so, I wrote down the words and put it to music. The music has been written down. Since I dont' have a recording studio in the back yard the music is not recorded. I guess you'll just have to come over and listen. Oh, and I can't sing it. The song is written in the key for the one I dreamt of. Cool huh?<br /><br />The pain we shared. The tears we felt. Our knees we fell. We shared our pain. But then, I dreamt of you my friend, my friend. I dreamt of you. Your smiling face remains in my heart and in my mind. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">You'll</span> find the joy that you seek. My friend I saw your face. That smiling face. That joyous face. I saw your face. Your husband there, the smiles <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">you</span> share, the home you now live. I saw you there I felt your joy. Inside those inner walls Surrounded by the ones you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">live</span>. I felt Gods love, I saw you there I felt Gods love, I saw you there. We shared our dreams. We shared our lives. We shared our hopes. Those smiling eyes, that radiant face, that joyous air, I dreamt of you.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-14495362956269258162008-09-15T19:20:00.002-07:002008-09-15T19:40:51.124-07:00Well things just happen<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Tard</span> I R. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">CRS</span>. Don't know how I blogged in Willy's blog. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ooops</span> my bad. Feel free to delete if it's possible. Sorry no excuses. User not demonstrating a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">proficiency</span> in blogging. May be at risk of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">embarrassing</span> others. As I posted on Willy's blog, (YA NOT MY BLOG) I will repeat "Ya, I like money." I just don't know what I'm doing most of the time. Must take a course ASAP. I'm going to Greece mid October. It will be a very good thing. There's only one problem with the trip. I'm going to school to learn "how to teach English as a second language." Me teaching others. YA RIGHT! I'd hoped to blog while in Greece. It's a very intensive 4 week program, Monday through Sunday each and every week. I might make a fool of myself. However, there is a good thing that comes from traveling a great distance. No one knows me! If they speak in Greek I won't know what they are saying. No pains no gains! RIGHT? Life is good. I'm a Tard. I'm ok with that. My family still loves me. Ok, Willy may be less than pleased. However, I'm thinking that he could really take advantage of this demonstration in tardness. Laughter is good for the soul.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-86160443700454860292008-09-15T19:20:00.001-07:002008-09-15T19:20:35.137-07:00Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7023873465127395298.post-64702500696751867712008-09-03T11:31:00.000-07:002008-09-03T11:53:17.499-07:00One coma please?Silly, funny & euphoric all mixed in with other negative feelings. No, not negative feelings. Feelings you don't like to feel. All necessary but unwanted by the mind and body. Why must we feel? Knowing the bitter from the sweet? I think I'd just like to be unaware. Mindless and senseless, a coma sounds good for the moment. Just a short break in routine. After a while the dishes would pile up and chores would be undone. But, messes always wait for me. What the heck, why not a short coma? They do it in science fiction movies. Why not in my life. A silly notion indeed but a silly notion welcomed. But then it really isn't as pleasant as the movies reveal. They leave out the disgusting body parts that no one really wants to know about. OK, so I want a state of deep sleep with out potty. Not asking for much, right? What happens when you wake? Do all the feelings come rushing back to you? I guess I'll just keep on plodding along and hope for one good nights sleep.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756272295465122050noreply@blogger.com0